Mentor. Coach. Teacher.

3 words with very similar meanings. While the latter of the three carries with it a unique and more revered status, being a coach or a mentor still comes with it’s questions.

I have in the past been called a mentor to many and in this current season, identify as a coach. 

I have also had mentors of my own who I believe had it not been for their guidance, I could have made many, many more erroneous choices. 

I say “more” because I still went on to make several questionable decisions despite mentorship but we’ll save those stories for another day! 

I Want one… What Is It? 

Let’s face it, in 2020, the term coach has become synonymous with motivational quotes, pricey packages and fancy photo shoots! 

But let me tell you friend, that’s not all a coach is. A coach or a mentor is simply a (good) form of counsel. Consider a coach a pilot on a journey, guiding you safely from point A to destinations X,Y,Z. 

This according to Merriam Webster is the supposed role of a coach but sadly, this isn’t always the case. 

As I said previously, I have had many good and even great coaches and mentors. Men and women  who have chaperoned and instructed me along the path. 

But I’ve also had…shysters and and showmen (or women) who’s only motivation was to take my money and waste my time. More the former if I’m being honest. Where they have promised “mentorship” I received nothing more than smoke, mirrors… and deductions from my bank account! 

So I’ve had my fair share of experiences when it comes to coaches and mentorship.

So if, like me, you are always on the hunt for new insights, teachers and further learning, I hope the following quick, simple and applicable points will save you both time and money. Because while there are a lot of good, genuine and integral people who identify as mentors and coaches, there are also those who’s motives are more selfish than self less.

Remember the Three R’s

Okay so this is three points wrapped in to one but at least you’ll remember them! Research, Review and Rest! Yep, before you make any moves, if you’ve not done all three of these things then baby-girl, sit back down!

You don’t even buy make up brushes without reading the reviews so why would you leave something as personal as mentorship to a perfectly curated video on an Instagram timeline? 

Before any money even passes hands, do your research. Look for real testimonials, speak to people who have done the course/programme. REAL people and not affiliates. 

And then just as you think you may have found the perfect coach, REST aka; wait. Wait a while. If you weren’t already following them on socials (it’d be pretty strange if you weren’t at this point tbh!) now would be a good time to watch them. No longer look at your potential coach as someone you admire but someone you are analysing. 

Analyse their routines, habits, confidence and competences. Believe me, there’s a lot you can learn by the small things on socials that people tend to ignore. If you’re considering a coach, now isn’t the time for ignorance sis! 

Alignment or Alien 

We live in an age where spirituality is no longer a topic spoken about in secret. I am free to talk about the goodness of God, His Holy Spirit and my walk with Christ, louder and more confidently than ever before. It’s not unusual for me to receive messages from women who don’t even identify as followers of Christ letting me know they enjoy my daily devotional (if you’re yet to subscribe, do so!).

And I say that because it’s hugely important that the person you choose as a mentor aligns with your values. It’s not enough to choose someone based on follower count. That’s as good as choosing a new car based on it’s colour. What about the engine? The drive? The interior even. Leather or cloth? These are far more important than the colour. 

If you choose a coach with no direct correlation to you, your journey and the goals you hope to attain then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. What your potential coach/mentor values is not to be ignored. 

Crystal Clear 

Here’s a snag that tends to trip a lot of people up in many areas and not just the coaching field. Not being clear from the onset. Whether it’s pricing, or course criteria or even the level of help you will receive, it is super important for a potential coach to be crystal clear with what they can do for you. 

Too often, many coaches and mentors will make promises that they are unable to keep. So you sign up to a course or mentorship programme with the hope that said coach can help you. And despite good intentions, these promises are not met. 

Before signing up for any course or mentorship scheme, always be sure of what’s on offer. Read the small print. Read the fine print. READ EVERYTHING! 

Before you start with any coach or mentor, be sure to have some type of consultation. That way you can get know your potential coach before any real money has swapped hands. Then you can decide if they can be of service to you. 

I offer a 20 minute consultation as a way of getting to know potential clients. During these consultations, clients are free to ask me questions about what I do and how I can be of service. They are then free to make a conscious and confident decision as to whether or not they would like to work with me. 

Granted, I charge a set fee of £9.99 for those consultations but that’s to ensure those that are booked in show up! 

Let’s be honest, how many of us have booked free sessions for something and not shown up? 

Any good coach will offer some form of consultation before signing you up. Don’t be afraid to ask for this. 

The Yellow Brick Road

So there you have it. Now I know this isn’t everything you will need to do in order to find the perfect mentor or coach.  But I am confident these tips will save you both time and money on your pursuit to personal development. After all, this is the person you will be employing to help you on the yellow brick road to success… or chasing pavements. The choice is yours!